Help a very pregnant woman

People say the silliest things to pregnant women. Erin is now 2 weeks from her due date. One woman insists on telling her how huge she is every time they meet.

Woman: Oh, god. You are huge.

Erin: I know.

Woman: No, seriously. HUUUGE.

Erin: Yes. I'm pregnant.

Woman: You must be due, like, any day now. 'Cause that thing (pointing to belly) is huge.

Erin: Yes. I'm a fat, fat cow.*

(*she doesn't really say this)

More often than not, these things are said by women (mothers) who should know better. Perhaps they're saying it in sisterhood, but it doesn't come across that way. Amazingly, Erin finds the most helpful statements come from older men. Like this exchange yesterday:

Man: Look at you. That's wonderful.

Erin: Thank-you. It doesn't always feel wonderful.

Man: Not in this heat it wouldn't. How are you feeling?

See? Simple. Sympathetic. Helpful.

Erin can roll with the punches with almost anyone (she married me), but there's one statement that drives her crazy. It usually comes when she's out with Henry and Jane.

Random Person: You are going to be busy.

Erin has yet to find an appropriate response. Here are a couple I suggested:

-"Yes. But there will also be joy."
-"I know. It will take a lot of work to track down your home and begin my campaign of pestering."
-"And you will eventually wither and die."
-"Why?"

Suggestions?

4 comments:

movita said...

Random Person: You are going to be busy.

Erin: That's interesting.

Random Person:

END SCENE

RuthAnne said...

I'll put your name down for a shift...

Dead Robot said...

"Not as busy as I was 8 months ago!"

Wakka wakka!

Tanya said...

I hear comments like those all the time...imagine with four. My favorite "Boy, your hands are full!". If you or Erin find a suitable response please let me know!!