Grade 10. A conversation with my then girlfriend.
Her: I love you.
Me: Oh, wow. I think I love you too.
Her: No one has ever felt like this before.
Me: I even love the baby toe on your left foot.
Her: You can have it.
Me: No foolin'?
Her: It's yours.
Me: Wow. Like, I can do with it whatever I want?
Her: Whatever you want.
Me: Like, cut it off?
Her: Um... I would hope you would chose not to.
Me: Riiight. So, we're talking, forever?
Me: My toe?
Her: Your toe.
Me: Even if we break up?
Her: Yup. But that'll never happen.
We broke up a month later.
Valentine's Day the next year, her new boyfriend confronted me in the hallway of our school.
Boyfriend: I have to talk to you.
Me: Uh, ok.
He took me to a quiet corner of the cafeteria.
Boyfriend: I need the toe.
Me: The toe? (realizing what he meant) Oh! The toe! You can have it. It's yours. I don't want it.
Boyfriend: No, it can't happen like that. I must pay you for the toe.
Boyfriend: Five bucks.
Me: Ok. Should we draw up some sort of contract, or receipt?
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah. She'd love that.
Me: Yes... she would.