As I walked the kids around the lake at our local park yesterday morning, Henry let me know how stupidly boring it is to walk around stupid, boring lakes.
Me: I'm not bored. I'm having lots of fun.
Henry: But we're not talking about you, Dad. This is about me. I'm bored.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. (something catches my eye) Woa! Did you see that?
Me: That duck that just landed. Have you ever watched how they land? It's kinda like a float plane coming in for a slow landing. Look! Here comes another one.
A female mallard eases herself out of the sky. Her wings are held back and slightly cocked. She comes in at a low trajectory, getting closer and closer to the water before finally touching down with her feet, skiing for a moment on the surface, and eventually bobbing in place at the end of her long wake.
Henry: Her feet are pontoons!
We spend the next twenty minutes watching ducks take off and land. He anticipates each landing with an uncontrollable flapping of his own. He then turns his attention to the gulls.
Henry: They don't land like planes! Watch!
A screeching gull glides out of its obnoxious flight in wide sweeping arcs.
Henry: Coming around... Coming around...
When the arcs finally sweep to about half a metre from the surface, the gull seemingly gives up on the concept of flight and drops unceremoniously to the water.
Henry: Wee! Flop! (peels of laughter)
Another twenty minutes later, I drag him away from the stupid, boring lake.
Super Dad will follow up this victory by displaying how cool it is to watch bread turn to toast through the little window on our toaster oven.