Ding dong

Saturday morning. Erin is at the farmer's market. After much wrestling and complaining, I managed to insert Henry and Jane into their snowsuits.

Me: I'm going to try to put Alice down for a nap, so pleeeease don't come back inside for a bit. We need it quiet in here.

Henry/Jane: OK, Dad.

Front Door: Slam!

I carry Alice to the bedroom for some quiet cuddling and lullabying.

Me: (singing) One elephant went out to play, upon a spider's web one day. He had such-

Front Door: knock knock knock knock

I try to ignore it.

Me: -enormous fun that he called for another elephant to-

Front Door: ding dong.

We walk to the front door. I open it. It's Henry.

Me: What is it, Cornbread?

Henry: Dad, can you come out to play?

Me: Sorry, buddy. I'm putting the baby to sleep. You and Jane play for a bit, OK?

Henry: OK.

Front Door: Slam!

We walk back to the room.

Me: Two elephants went out to play upon a spider's web one day. They had such enormous-

Front Door: ding dong

Walk walk walk walk. Open door.

Me: What?

Henry: Jane is stuck in the tree.

I rescue Jane from the tree.

Henry: Dad, can you play?

Me: I'd love to, buddy, but the baby is still awake. Please, you need to leave me alone in the house for a few minutes.

Henry: OK, Dad.

Front Door: Slam!

Walk walk walk walk to the bedroom.

Me: Three elephants-

Front Door: ding dong

Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Open door.


Henry: Daaaad... can you pl-

Me: Dude. I told you I need a few minutes. I don't have time right now to play.

Henry: I wasn't asking for you to play.

Me: Oh, no? What were you asking?

Henry: I was... wondering... if I... if youuu... coooould... get me a drink of water?

Me: Sure.

Walk walk walk to the kitchen. Fill a glass. Bring it back. He drinks.

Me: We're good? No more knocking? No more doorbells? Just quiet for a few minutes?

Henry: Yes, Dad. No problem.

Front Door: Slam!

Walk walk walk walk walk.

Me: Four elephants went out to play upon a spider's web one day. They had such enormous fun that they called for another elephant to come.

Alice stares at me with wide eyes.

Me: You're not going to sleep, are you?

Alice gently touches the tip of my nose with her finger.

Alice: Ding dong.


Jordan said...

Can I nominate this for some sort of Best Post of the Year award? Sure, it'll be overtaken by others as the year drags on, but still. Love it.

familyman said...

Hey there,

I've only been reading your weblog for the past month, but I have to say it's hilarious! I have 3 kids as well and I can relate to everything you post.

Keep up the great work! And don't worry it gets easier as they get older.... well, that's not true, but you develop much better coping strategies :)

Unknown said...

Thanks for the kind words, Tim. Welcome to the blog.