I retain the right to make up new rules whenever I see fit

We are in the car again, just leaving the beach. Jane is sniffing her hands.

Jane: My hands stink.

Henry: Let me smell.

He takes a big whiff.

Henry: Eeeew. They do smell.

Erin and I look at each other.

Erin: What do they smell like?

Jane: Stinky. Smell them, Dad.

I do not, in any way, want to smell those hands.

I pause a moment. Erin is driving. There is no way I'm getting out of this.

I sniff.

Me: Yuck.

Erin: What do they smell like?

Me: (rubbing my nose) Like, vaguely cheesy?

Henry: (smelling his own hands) My hands smell great.

Erin has some hand sanitizer in her purse. I get it out, reach back, and squirt some in Jane's hands.

Jane: EEEEEEW! That's even worse!

Alice: (holding out her hands) WANT SOME, TOO!

Jane: It's dripping everywhere!

Me: You've got to rub it in.

She rubs for half a second, then smells again.

Jane: Daaaaaad! It's horrible and drippy!

Alice: WANT SOME, TOO!

I reach back to dribble a bit of sanitizer on Alice's hands.

Alice: (sniff) SMELLY!

Jane: (sniff) Daaaaad!

Henry: (sniff) Mine really smell great.

Me: ENOUGH!

Silence.

Me: OK! New rule! No one is allowed to smell their hands anymore. Got it?

All is quiet for a few seconds.

Henry: Can we buy some gum?

3 comments:

Craig Wesley said...

You allow gum-chewing in the car?!?!?! You, sir, are clearly mad....

words words said...

Henry came home from his buddy's house one day chomping like a llama. Seeing as we feed him only the finest alfalfa the rest of the time, we do allow for the occasional chomp.

And, yes, it bugs the heck out of me.

misty said...

I can't stop laughing.